I was very eager to write about something but could not get any topic to write about, and then a senior advised to write about love and relationships. First I was a little dicey about it but then thought to give it a try. Then I took a paper and pen, but no idea came to my mind, so I thought to write about the experiences of the people around me, my school friends, colleagues and infact I had to google about it, and after talking to many people I analyzed one thing that ‘love is an amalgam of all the emotions of the world’.
Some described as the most beautiful emotion of the world and some defined it as a sweet poison which kills you but you still can’t avoid its presence. But one thing which I had noticed while talking to them is that the first thought which comes to their mind when they hear the word “love” is about their partners, either present or would-be. There even are people who start fantasizing about their dream lover but do not give a single thought to the people who already are there in their lives, in different ways as parents, friends, mentors, teachers, siblings and enemies (if they have any) as well..
Love surely is the most beautiful feeling in the world, when somebody loves you, you feel blessed by the almighty, be it parental love or love from your beloved/lover. There are many children who could not even manage to see their parents, and love from your life partner is the most difficult thing to achieve, but once achieved is the most divine feeling of the world.
Different people define love in different ways, some say love is friendship, some call it a blessing, some say that love is when someone’s happiness matters much more than anything else in the world, some say that love is like a butterfly it the more it flies away from you, some say that unconditional love is the purest form of love, phew. But none of them gave similar thought about love, which made me realize that there cannot be a universal definition, everyone defines love according to their own experiences.
Some said that love is a waste of time, it’s a valley of sorrow, sea of tears, you can never be happy once you started loving somebody; it is the biggest mistake anybody can ever make. And if it so then why a mother care for her children with all her love and affection, why a child respect his father despite all the scolding he gets, why a sister help him his brother for his home-work even though he keeps teasing her all the time, why people help somebody in need, what do they get in doing such things, I asked many people and all of them gave an answer that seeing happiness on someone’s face gives them immense satisfaction, and guess that is something we all dread for.
Satisfaction, in today’s life everything is on a fast pace, everyone keeps on running to achieve their goals, and when they achieve it they aim for higher one and this trend goes on, nobody stops to see what they have achieved yet which simply means that they are not satisfied with what they have in their lives. No, love is not painful, it is us who make it look bad by suspecting on our partners, by expecting a lot but not ready to give anything in return, love brings only joy and happiness.
‘Opposites attract’, this I believe is the most accurate phrase ever said but the sad part is that the most people try to look for someone of the same frequency like that of theirs, and probably that is why most relationships don’t survive for long. We usually believe that we will be best suited with someone whose habits and thinking matches with our own, and that is where we mistake.
Initially, everything seems to be on track, you like being together as the sharing of thoughts is similar, choice of movies, food; everything seems perfect but after a certain time one of the two starts feeling saturated. All the things, habits which seemed very amazing start becoming irritating. For instance; if two people of reserved nature get into a relationship, for the first few months they will have many things to talk about; their past , their habits, future planning etc.; but what after all these conversations come to an end, then expectations start coming in and that is where things start to turn ugly especially when those expectations turn into ego, “ why should I always talk”, “ why don’t you talk”, “it’s me who always start the conversation”, “are you bored of me ?” and many other arguments like this; then slowly they start realizing that they were better as friends and staying in a relationship will not give happiness to them and finally decide to break-off.
Such kind of relationships work on only two conditions, first if anyone of them compromises to keep the other one happy or else if both of them make adjustments to keep the relationship alive; many couples manage to pass this testing periods whereas others fail.
On the other hand, if two people of opposite natures meet each other; initially they may fight, argue over small things but once they get over that phase; their courtship period has all the moments to cherish and later they remember their fights and laugh over it.
People believe that teenage love is only an attraction; an infatuation but I disagree with this belief; just like it is very easy to mould a wet clay and when it dries up it sustains the shape forever; similarly if someone love somebody whole-heartedly in adolescence then the feeling remains forever regardless of the circumstances, a feeling without any apprehensions; when all you can think about is the person you love.
Here, a question arises that how to identify that you are in love? To get the answer to this question I talked with few friends who are in a relationship for quite a long time; infact I can say who are madly in love.
Everyone gave different ways to diagnose this sweet disease called ‘love’ or ‘loveria’ in filmy style.
One said it’s when you cannot sleep before talking to that person, other said it’s when you want to be with someone all the time, third said it’s when someone’s physical presence is not required as the person is always with you in your heart, in your thoughts, but the answer I liked the most was given by a teacher and she said that there is no specific way to recognize love, she said, “ you yourself will get to know when you will fall in love, no philosopher can give a universal definition of love and no psychologist can invent a therapy to recognize it.”
After talking to so many people, I analyzed few things and they are:
- Love is the most beautiful mistake anyone can ever make.
- no matter how many differences arise, if your feeling is strong for each other then you can cross any hurdle coming between.
- Love can never be planned, it just happens; you can never choose with whom to fall in love but your bond should be rock- steady to stand all the ups and downs of life; the testing period of love.
- Love comes with many conditions yet it the most unconditional emotion on the earth.
- And the most important thing which I learnt is that love has no present parameters, neither can it have any.
Last but not the least, love is the most mysterious emotion, you can keep writing for years but you cannot define it in a way which can be applied universally because everyone has their own ways to express the feeling. So, let it be a mystery and enjoy the way it unfolds on its own.
With love :-)
Supriya
